creative journey (AW)

My theme for this year is seek. I want to find new aspects of my life, my self, my world, my soul. One way I am doing this is through the Blogging the Artist's Way group started by Kat. Morning pages have begun. I am writing all three pages. Even when my hand cramps. I keep writing. I am energized by the idea that others are out there doing this too. Just like me. Wanting to get in touch with that creative soul inside.

I discovered SARK's books when I was in college. I used to walk around Barnes and Noble with a copy of Living Juicy so I could look up all the books she recommended. I discovered Natalie Goldberg, Henry Miller, Diane Ackerman, Portia Nelson, Harold and the Purple Crayon, The Artist's Way, and so many more. I started morning pages and the weekly tasks but only lasted a few weeks. (I realize now that I probably had enough homework already.)

As I read these books, I began to see connections. I read about the solitude some of these writers experienced and sometimes craved. I learned about giving yourself permission to feel, question, seek. I learned that most people thought that there was not only one way - to happiness, creativity, spirituality. Every now and then I would feel my heart quicken as I read. Almost as though something greater than me was telling me that I was on the right path. At that time, I didn't have a very big circle of support for this path.

After college, I moved to Chicago and started work in a cubicle. And I had a circle of support for lots of things but not creativity or spirituality. I forgot about my path. But I now know that I was still on it. After a year in the big city, I took a job at the boarding school I had attended. As a dorm counselor for 50 girls. On call 24 hours a day. Knee-deep in emotional teenage stuff. All the time. I forgot about myself. But my soul was always longing for something. And when jon and I moved to the Pacific Northwest and I let go of trying to save everyone else, the light came across my path again.

Last spring, I discovered this world of blogs. As I clicked and scrolled and read, the words of others began to resonate inside me. Maybe I really was not alone in these feelings, thoughts, hopes. Maybe there were people outside of the books on the shelves in my home who could become my circle. Over the last few months I had been thinking about AW, wanting to start it but wishing for another person or people to share in the journey. And then last month I discovered, via Marilyn, the group Kat was creating. A circle of support begins.

A greater spirit whispers that I am on the right path.