Saturday, January 14, 2006

honesty {AW}

The morning pages: a place to find the honesty.
This was what I learned this week. Writing stream of consciousness invites a letting down of the guard...a space to let the thoughts float to the surface and live. The fear of feeling is quiet. The truth I would not write about began to bubble and vibrate in the morning pages. The sketchbook I used for the tasks was too nice, too clean, too pretty for the realness of the words I needed to write. I did not want to leave a trace of my true feelings about those who did not support the creative spirit of my childhood. What if they found it? What would they think? I did not want them to feel hurt or sad or angry. But really, would they ever see? No. Still, the fear was there. In the morning though, looking at that plain notebook paper, amongst the "I don't want to do this" and the "I am hungry and my hand hurts," I began to write my truth.