this gratitude list isn’t exactly in an order of importance (because it isn’t like i am grateful for warm toast more than my parents). if anything, it is more a timeline as i reflected on the year by month as i wrote it…though it isn’t really a timeline either (because i am always grateful for fuzzy socks, sushi, laughter, grey’s anatomy, and poetry). so really, just a list of 365 things i am grateful for in the year 2006. (and there are more things, i am sure of it. and i left important things off that didn’t come to me in my holiday chocolate buzz…but it is a list of some things that made this year what it was for me.)
- the overall health of my family and friends
- living with a man who loves me and supports the person i am becoming and wants to know me more each day
- reading the time traveler’s wife. this book introduced me to derek walcott’s poem “love after love,” which led me to the poetry section of bookstores all around the seattle area.
- the commitment to taking self-portraits
- the telephone
- the many, many meals jon cooked for us this year
- the artist’s way (starting the journey of reading it with other bloggers)
- poetry readings in the bath tub
- warm toast with butter and cinnamon sugar
- the music of the weepies
- snow
- polka dot flannel pajamas
- all the little things jonny does for me (especially when i yell to him from the couch because i don’t want to move and he is in the room that has something i want in it)
- buying my first books of poetry
- friendships formed with so many bloggers this year. i am truly blessed to have connected with so many people in blog world in 2006. (i could probably write a list of 365 moments of these connections that i am grateful for…but i am letting this one just cover it.)
- chocolate milk
- being warm and safe in my home
- mary oliver (the way she walks in nature with her words demands that i pay more attention)
- william stafford (his spirit pours life into my heart)
- may sarton (her poetry, her journals, her words)
- a new typewriter
- my yoga students
- fuzzy socks
- flickr
- great pens that invite me to put all that is in my head to paper
- hours spent playing the game diner dash. it is on my husband’s old computer though and i never did pass that last darn level.
- grey’s anatomy
- monthly (and eventually come November, weekly) trips to i love bento, our favorite sushi restaurant (because, we do, indeed, love bento)
- morning pages
- long hot showers where i solve the problems of the world
- the movie brokeback mountain
- the gift of being able to love
- beginning to put paint to paper. swirling the colors together to form new colors.
- spending time with my mother when i went back to indiana for a meeting
- reading the kite runner in an airport with tears running down my face
- reading wicked
- hours spent on the phone with my friend heather
- the pictures my aunt sent me. the one that means so much to me.
- participating in a postcard swap and sending my art out into the world for the first time.
- jon’s health (after an evening spent in the emergency room in february)
- getting through the first year of missing my golden child traveler
- artist dates
- my neti pot
- the way the crocuses in our front yard popped open in all their glory this year
- the community of my yoga teacher training sangha. it was a true honor to be part of such a group.
- drinking lots and lots of water
- reading blogs and having that moment when you are reminded you are not alone, that yes, someone out there, the very person who wrote those words, completely knows how you feel about something
- for our first full year with millie
- the serendipitous way my group of portland blogger friends formed and all the time spent with them this year
- moleskine journals
- my yoga teacher laura
- the shells that my grandmother kept in her room that my grandfather sent me
- remembering to take my camera with me to capture life
- phone conversations with my friend melissa rose that are full of laughter and silliness and truth and honesty
- mug after mug of tea
- longs talks with patty on yoga weekends
- for the crazy, fucked up reality of realizing that with deep grief comes many gifts
- for feeling comfortable swearing on my blog (finally)
- stretching myself: physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually
- wandering through the aisles of the arts and crafts store to buy things like gesso and gel medium and other crazy things i had never used in my life
- my friend julia
- the birth of poetry thursday
- jars of tulips throughout the house
- conversations with my great-aunt honey
- for writing, for getting it out of me
- my favorite pink sweater (though jon shrank it last month…he didn’t mean to…when i was sick i put it in the washer and he put it in the dryer not knowing i didn’t want it dried…now i just look at it and wish it still fit)
- deciding to start to tell more people about my blog
- superballs (the ones that bounce and bounce)
- that my friend beth lives nearby, even though we do not see each other as often as i wish we would, knowing she is here is a gift
- moments where i find my way to the silly side of life
- cherry coke
- a realization about my eye and my parents and love
- learning to say “no”
- this post written by michelle
- serendipity
- naps
- rain falling and keeping this corner of the world so green
- emails exchanged with my grandfather
- my friendship with kathryn, my yoga friend
- hummingbirds at the feeder in the winter
- poetry readings all alone in my house
- reading life’s companion: journal writing as a spiritual quest by christina baldwin
- taking pictures of myself each day during the month of march. so many poloroids of me drinking tea.
- cosmopolitans
- buying myself a superhero bracelet (and wearing it every single day)
- my new laptop (even though it recently was not a friend to me, i have loved, loved using it over the last few months and am glad it is being nice again)
- walks on the beach looking for sea glass (we don’t really have many shells out here…my grandma and i always looked for shells. but looking for sea glass, she would have loved that too. when i look for it, i think of her, i feel close to her and my memories.)
- feeling safe
- yoga pants
- a trip into my memories of the songs of kenny rogers and how they are a part of the soundtrack of my life
- cupcakes
- my friend virginia’s strength of character
- giggling as i painted a canvas for the first time
- the moment when i realized exactly what to do
- the music of jonatha brooke
- for the day i realized that the little girl inside me is awake and dancing
- being introduced to green tea with brown rice through a gift from my friend julia. every. single. day. it warms me up.
- seeing the joy on my husband’s face as he watched me have so much fun painting and creating on the night i decided to go to artfest
- deciding to go to artfest
- the anticipation of artfest
- my drive alone in the car up to artfest (singing “galileo” on repeat and just knowing my life was changing with every mile)
- the companionship of my dear friend kelly throughout artfest. that because of our instant connection we had one another and just knew how the other was feeling through this incredible experience.
- connecting with kim at artfest (we have known each other in past lives, of this i am certain)
- meeting kristin steiner and taking a class from her at artfest. (this class changed my life. it did. it completely changed my life. and i am taking a class with her again next year.)
- that jon came up to port townsend to stay with me during the weekend part of artfest
- vendor night at artfest (one room. over 500 people. all like me. i was truly on overload.)
- connecting with tracie lyn huskamp and her artwork (the moment that i stood at her table on vendor night, i knew there was a connection between two kindred spirits and it was so very cool to know she knew it too)
- meeting blue poppy and walking with her, arms linked, on the beach at fort worden
- teesha and tracy moore and all the good that they put out into the world
- being forced to leap outside my comfort zone (even if i was kicking and screaming in my head)
- learning how to use gel medium
- the beginning of my love affair with fabric
- talking on the phone with missy b. and loving how it feels like no time has passed
- the chanting, yoga, and meditation class that i taught for a few months this year
- that i decided to tell my dad about my blog
- trips to portland
- chocolate ice cream
- learning to set boundaries
- the afternoon dana and i spent at the point defiance zoo (and the friendship that began that day)
- the hope for peace
- knee socks
- afternoons spent in letha’s studio
- mount rainier
- my friend juli and knowing she is out there in the world
- the smell of freshly baked pastries wafting out of the french bakery near the market
- millie sighing and then laying her head on my leg
- comfortable shoes
- hot chocolate
- getting through the first year since my grandmother’s death. getting through the days approaching the anniversary, the days after as i remembered where i was and what we were doing and how i wished i could touch her just one more time.
- seeing my brother for his 25th birthday
- visiting powells for the first time
- attending my first poetry reading
- that my brother introduced me to daniel ladinsky’s translations of the poems of hafiz
- watching the birds at the bird feeders (we had a goldfinch this year)
- flip-flop weather
- sitting on the couch with jon with my feet up on his lap
- raspberries
- how excited millie gets when she knows jon is home
- the day dana agreed to host poetry thursday with me. because of her and our work together this project is growing more than i ever dreamed it might. (and that makes me so happy!)
- fresh, ripe peaches
- days when the sky is blue
- for the days i listen to my body and dance dance dance around the house
- noticing all five senses more often
- honey nut cheerios
- the right to vote
- caller id
- moments sprawled on the floor surrounded by art supplies
- oprah
- the artwork of theo ellsworth. when i need to invite my imagination to stretch a bit, i turn to his work. (i met him at artfest, and i still think about his humility and thoughtfulness. i just read that he is at the portland saturday market now. so go and meet him. you will be grateful for him too.)
- eating at yuki’s in portland (three times this year)
- finding my way to writing some fiction
- being honest about feeling grumpy
- the day an idea for the november weekend retreat of a small group of bloggers was born and all the anticipation leading up to it
- snuggles
- finding letters, notes, cards from my grandmother in unexpected places. over the years i have stuck them in books, drawers, boxes and when i clean or pick up a book for the first time in years, i find them. and even though i cry every time, i am so grateful for these unexpected pieces of her. she really did know me more than i ever realized when she was alive.
- the west wing (how sad i was to see it end but how grateful i am that for seven years it was my escape from reality)
- the wise words of my friend heather; she always has them ready to share
- connecting with bloggers through comments
- hearing rain falling on the roof as i drift off to sleep
- turning 30 (and waving a thankful relief-filled goodbye to my twenties)
- the gift of my sewing machine
- sundays spent in pajamas
- hearing my friend rebecca laugh during our phone conversations
- my ipod nano
- moments spent in meditation
- the movie il postino
- gram (jon’s 90-year-old grandmother)
- homemade hummus
- the song “we walk the same line” by everything but the girl
- a little girl named rebecca louise paulson who invited herself into my life one day and keeps hanging around talking to me
- listening to the song “virginia woolf” over and over and over again
- that my grandfather survived the surgery for his hip and the other health problems he encountered this year
- goat cheese and sundried tomatoes
- long baths
- the weekend retreat that ended my two-year yoga teacher training. it was incredible.
- turning on the music of keith urban to wake me up and get me going when my mind becomes a bit sleepy when i work
- margaritas (strawberry ones)
- sitting quietly together
- the kindness of complete strangers
- deep, warm hugs
- seeing the indigo girls in concert (twice, once with kelly and once with meg)
- hours spent watching the show "weeds." it is sometimes nice to just lose myself watching really, really good tv like this show.
- getting in touch with my inner love of totally inappropriate humor as i watched an evening with kevin smith.
- moments of inspiration
- phone conversations with my brother
- that several of my friends gave birth to healthy, beautiful babies
- fabric depot
- realizing that i am grounded in my body. even though i have feelings about how i look and all that stuff, i am simply grounded in my body. it is a good thing.
- paul simon
- the words to paul simon’s song “once upon a time there was an ocean”
- jon’s father coming to visit for father’s day weekend. good times.
- seeing my husband interact with his father. the love that is there.
- netflix
- homemade iced tea
- connection
- al gore
- moments of synergy
- marc broussard’s song “home” (i dare you not to dance to it when you hear it)
- taking my mom to port townsend when she was here for a visit, walking on the beach hand in hand
- moments full of giggling
- the time spent with my mom as we made a purse and an apron together
- reconnecting with the memories that surround “the happy apple” via dana letting me borrow it (for months now…)
- cracking up out loud watching hbo’s "entourage" (two words: johnny drama)
- brie
- homemade lemonade
- moments when i feel sexy
- picking up rocks as i walk along the sound
- successfully sewing my first purse by myself
- spending the fourth of july with friends
- moments spent singing in the shower
- that my brother is happy
- the way god speaks to me through the pedicure lady at the salon i go to
- being safe during a storm
- a trip to jackson, wyoming to witness two friends get married. a beautiful day, wedding, experience.
- spending time with friends who have known me half of my life
- the poem “persimmons” by li-young lee
- seeing my friends lindsey and brad so in love and hearing them tease one another as we sat together this summer
- feeling pretty in a new dress
- the grand tetons
- that planes can fly
- turquoise
- stripey socks
- starting the daily mirror meditation and the women who joined me during august and september
- finding my way to write a poem about sex (and the thought of writing a few more about this subject)
- the music of deb talen
- seeing the moon in the middle of the day
- safe travels
- moments spent in child’s pose
- that poetry helped me put into words all of the regrets i have about the days surrounding my grandmother’s death
- spending the weekend in Portland with dana and her husband
- the PEK (poetry emergency kit)
- rainier cherries
- ikea
- moments spent chanting to shiva
- orange, blue, brown, green, this year i have been drawn to these colors
- seeing my mom’s side of the family at my cousin’s wedding
- the joy on my cousin’s face on her wedding day
- (selfishly) making it through the first family get-together without my grandmother (the first one is behind me now)
- the hummingbird that flitted about right before my cousin’s wedding began
- time spent with my mom in durango
- standing at mesa verde and feeling
- seeing wild horses. real ones.
- having an incredible conversation with my cousin jeremy.
- hydrangeas in bloom
- dinners eaten at the table
- spending the afternoon with kristen and meeting her family
- rosie o’donnell joining the view
- that my friend ryan is safely home from iraq
- the poetry of sharon olds
- my husband’s smile
- a job where i can wear my pajamas or yoga clothes and just be comfy all the time and never have to wear heels
- the memories remembered of a house filled with music when i was a child
- reading eat, pray, love by elizabeth gilbert
- the moment when i looked in the mirror and realized i could see myself as beautiful
- that we own a drill and my husband isn’t afraid to use it
- beginning to work full time as a stay-at-home-editor for my awesome boss
- a steady paycheck
- that my dad’s health is okay
- spending the afternoon at the pike place market with maureen
- netflixing huff, house, weeds, and so many good movies (with so many more to come)
- freedom
- ideas that wake me up in the middle of the night
- moments when i have felt completely content
- spending a day shopping with anne when she and my dad visited this fall. i am still smiling about the fun we had.
- doughnuts and jam at the dahlia lounge (and the good conversation and laughter that went along with that meal)
- watching a notre dame football game with my dad
- seeing paul simon in concert
- our new kitchen appliances
- soft, luxurious towels from restoration hardware
- the smell of vanilla
- david whyte’s poetry
- fleece
- "studio 60 on the sunset strip" (still miss "the west wing" though)
- organic lip balm
- the gift of memory
- reading poetry to my yoga students
- my favorite soft knit green scarf
- that our house didn’t burn down on a sunday in october
- moments spent in the quiet
- hanky pankies
- hair long enough for two braids
- red slippers
- the ideas that come to me in the shower
- the colors of the leaves on maple trees
- curling up on the couch with my husband to watch "battlestar galactica"
- subscribing to the new yorker
- pumpkin scones
- the website www.kittenwar.com (hours of fun)
- a fall walk in the point defiance rose garden
- great bras
- the quiet of our new dishwasher
- pumpkin spice lattes
- writing truth
- the ritual of lighting candles as dusk settles around us and blowing them out, sending blessings into the world
- produce delivered right to our door
- moments spent brainstorming with dana about PT
- a weekend in november that i spent with six amazing, beautiful, incredibly talented, and wise women
- the realizations, lessons, thoughts, ideas and so many other things that continue to wash over me because of that weekend in november (thank you)
- feeling as i walk in my life
- that jon took me to the doctor the night i finally admitted how ill i felt
- that being ill and scared and unsure of what the future might hold gave me these moments where i realized how much i mean to my parents
- paul simon’s song “wartime prayers” (listening to this song over and over again got me through november)
- the gift of beginning to talk to my grandmother
- friends calling and emailing when i was ill in november (thank you)
- the moment when a doctor finally chose to listen to me
- tomato soup and grilled cheese
- hearing my friend katie’s voice on the phone in a moment when i just needed not to be alone. i know she doesn’t know it, but it meant so much to me.
- watching ellen during my two weeks of being on the couch and laughing, laughing, laughing
- buying myself a scarf from alicia’s "rosy little things" shop to cover my little scar
- feeling rested
- antibiotics
- the constant companionship of a little stuffed animal named jeero who i took with me to every appointment and who i held during my horrible biopsy experience
- the moment a fever breaks
- comedy specials on HBO
- white cheddar cheese and apple juice
- candles from carla’s shop zena moon
- the night i called my mom because i was scared and having nightmares while awake and she talked to me for an hour even though it was the middle of the night where she lives
- cuddling on the couch with millie
- my husband holding my hand through every moment of it (i will not forget)
- the lessons (even the ones that invite me to feel like shit)
- seeing and hearing david white read his poetry and talk about it
- hearing david whyte read his new poem "start close in"
- talks on the phone with jon’s mom
- cargo pockets
- listening to joshua radin sing his songs over and over and over again
- polka dots
- warm cozy sweaters
- moments spent in cobra pose
- owning that i am a serious person most of the time and realizing that i don’t need to apologize for it anymore
- giving myself permission to not be serious in every moment of every day
- deciding to make a stuffy for jon, and then making another one for heather
- visiting my friend heather in la: seeing her corner of the world and just spending time with her
- moments when a group of people sit together and laugh and laugh and tell stories and laugh some more
- godiva chocolates (my favorite are the little open oyster shells)
- heat
- bloglines
- finding the bright spots in the midst of deep disappointment
- the moment when the owners of i love bento say, “thank you. bye-bye” as we leave their restaurant. each and every time it just makes me feel good inside.
- gingerbread lattes
- making some christmas presents this year
- for not losing all my pictures from the last few years
- new bangs
- finding my crafty self
- prayers
- beginning to speak up (watch out world)
- felt
- finding a craft store less than a mile from my home (how could i have not known it was there until december of this year after living here for two and a half years?)
- that we didn’t have to spend christmas stuck in an airport
- for the kindness of jon’s parents
- spending three days up in seattle with jon. tourists in our own corner of the world.
- new make-up that just makes me feel good (thanks to thea’s suggestions)
- christmas eve pajamas
- that because we couldn’t go to colorado i got two pairs of christmas eve pajamas (jon had sent the other pair to his parents house so i got those a few days later) and we were able to spend christmas eve with friends
- springing millie from the kennel so she could spend christmas with us
- spending christmas day snuggled up on the couch with my husband in our pajamas stringing garland for our little tree and watching lots of movies
- the movie night at the museum and the wonder i felt inside watching a museum come to life
- winning an item on ebay
- moments when i stop everything to get up, ipod nano tucked into my clothes, earphones on, and dance around the house. i love those moments. here’s to more of those moments in 2007.
- my friend melissa rose’s sense of humor and the way she looks at the world. she invites me to be just a little less serious about things. (thank you)
- continuing to find my way
- the wisdom of others who came before me
- that the new year brings the promise of all that is to come
- creating an altar where i burn my daily “intention” candle
- the six little words that were my favorite words of 2006: there is no evidence of cancer
- the opportunity to learn the lessons without cancer
