Tuesday, March 25, 2008
earlier today, i went to bed around 1:30 a.m. after a nice, long, "this is me" phone conversation over two mugs of tea with a dear friend.
i woke up to the smell of daffodils as the blue sky smiled down and filled my heart with lightness.
in the middle of my morning, a friend called to say that she was in my corner of town and wanted to have lunch. "yes. please. give me 15 minutes" was my swift response.
i have been waiting a long time to have a call out of the blue wanting to meet for lunch/coffee/tea/a hug/laughter/good conversation friendship here. (thank you.)
as the blue sky when i walked into the cafe became the northwest rainy grey sky as i walked to my car, i laughed as i walked swiftly to my car and decided not to stop and take a photo of a gorgous blooming something.
my dad called to check in and share an idea he had for me. getting these middle of the day "how are you" calls from him is nice.
millie sighed with irritation about five times in her neverending quest to sleep next to me on the couch as i work. finally, i gave in for a bit. her gloating, knowing sigh sealed the agreement we have that she has my number.
in between editing and moving files, i continued soaking and laundering my rummage sale finds that will soon become creations from the little room.
i put on the kettle for tea, and as i poured the hot water into my mug, the sun came out again, so i went outside to join it for a bit as a robin, two chickadees, and a junko sang their joy of its return.
and as i took in all that is today in this life i live, this is what i know, at least in this moment. the push and pull of life can be exhausting and push me to places and thoughts and fears that i do not want to live inside let alone pass through. yet, i keep going. i begin to allow myself to see these pushes and pulls as nudges instead of tornadoes. i find that if i share the pieces of who i am and what i am experiencing with someone else, i can see deeper into the truth of my life instead of trying to adjust to the blurry shadows that do not want to reveal what they know. and when i see this truth, i remember that life is good. i am okay. we are okay. the lightness of the blue sky shining morning is a part of me even when the grey comes back.
i will not forget.
the lightness lives inside me.