Tuesday, July 31, 2007

morning break {self-portrait challenge}

SPC: pattern week one

when i took this picture yesterday, i planned to write about how i am taking a bit of time each morning to drink my tea and walk around the yard to see what is growing, what needs watering, how the hydrangea blooms are doing, and so on. just like my grandmother would do every morning. what she would try to get me to do wtih her when i would visit. it was really nice to do this yesterday. i felt close to her but i also took a minute to just breathe.

but, i didn't do it again today. i didn't walk around the yard with my tea to see what is growing. it didn't even cross my mind to do it.

my current feelings seem to be frazzled, stressed, overwhelmed, annoyed, hurt...the list goes on and on. and it seems that when i most feel this way, i lose sight of the things that would invite me to feel better. i forget i have my own toolbox of how to heal myself.

that is how it goes.
i just keep doing the best i can.
even when the best i can doesn't seem all that great.
i just keep going.
i just keep listening for the little whispers from something greater than me.
i just keep remembering how to love.

and i try again tomorrow.

(more self-portraits here)


edited to add: and through my stress (though i suspect i am not alone in the confusion), i thought we had moved on to pattern at SPC. well, indeed this picture is my connection to the earth as well, which has been my theme this month for SPC. my need to connect with it when i am stressed. and what happens when i do not feel grounded to the earth beneath my feet.