these eyes

My mind resists why I am here. Eyebrows need to be plucked. Hmmm. Those pores need some attention. What are we going to do for dinner? Did I take Millie out this afternoon? I think I might want to run out and get some coffee. Why am I doing this again? Hmmm. I close my eyes. Breathe in. Pause. Breathe out. Open my eyes. Look again.

This thought.

These eyes. These eyes are the only eyes that will ever see all that I have seen, all that I will see. Holy crap. This is huge. HUGE. I spend so much time wishing that I could adjust this or move that or look like. But this is it. This is the face I bring to this life time. These are the eyes that will see all that I will see as I move through my experiences. These are the eyes that will help me learn this time around; the eyes that will force me to see even when I want to sleep.

Spending time with my reflection seems to take me down a different pathway each day. Sometimes I resist to such a degree I feel like I have let myself down a bit, like I didn't "get" what I was to "get" that day. Though I know that isn't really true, I can become a bit exasperated with myself. Other days I have the "crappers it is 11:30 p.m. and I haven't spent any time in front of the mirror" thoughts. But those seem to be the days that I have a little epiphany. Interupting the flow of things seems to turn my usual thoughts upside down. And that can't be a bad thing.

If you are joining me in your own journey of self-reflection through time with your mirrored self, I hope you will realize there is no "right" way to practice this. You could spend 15 seconds just breathing and looking at yourself, noticing whatever comes up. You could devote the same 10 minutes every day to this experience. You could sit with a poem or whatever inspires you and read, then spend time with your reflection. The possibilities go on and on. This week, I wrote about how I unexpectedly serenaded myself and I have to say I highly recommend that. Feel free to share your ideas and experiences here if you would like.

Take a moment and look deeply into your eyes. What do you see? What would happen if you let go a bit of the wishing to look like and honored this face? Honored these eyes? Honored you?