I look in the mirror with my brightened "redish" hair color and new bangs and wonder who the woman is in the reflection. I look different with bangs. I feel...of all things...sexier.
Sexier.
This was a bit unexpected. Especially because sitting in the salon wearing that cape that cuts me off at the neck (not to mention my hair in tin foil and then wet and stuck to my head), invites me to feel anything but sexy. In fact, I fight with myself internally as I sit there. Fighting the negative self talk that bubbles up. This afternoon, as I looked in the mirror, seeing my face, remembering all that I learned during the mirror meditation, I found myself smiling back at me.
And I thought, "I look cute and just a bit sexy..."
At the end of last month, I mentioned that I want to write and talk more about marriage/romantic relationships here on my blog. And bringing in the sexy...well, that is something most people in long-term relationships need to do more and more. Sometimes as the level of comfort increases, the need to bring in the sexy falls to the side as we stop "courting" one another. Yet, there is always this true need to feel desired and desire another. Why do we stop? Why do we forget? What are we afraid of? All questions to be examined on another day...
For now, I am just going to keep on the sexy red slip. Even if it is layered over jeans and under a sweater (it is December after all). Never know what might happen when someone comes home to see this sexy woman who is me working away on the couch in such an outfit...
(see other interpretations of the theme "red" at self-portrait challenge)
