a shower

One of my favorite places to be is the shower. I close the shower curtain behind me and close out the world. It sometimes feels like the only place where I am myself and alone. No email, no phone calls, no pulling from the rest of the world.

When I am in the shower, I brainstorm and think and think and think and sing and meditate and chant and let the hot water beat against my back and stretch and sometimes sob and remember and try to forget and think some more. I also, sometimes, allow myself to let go and simply breathe…to simply be present in the moment with the water streaming over all of me.

This afternoon, I found myself thinking about my yoga class tonight; thinking about the intention I want to bring to the class. My thoughts turned to chanting and I suddenly started chanting to Ganesh. A mantra chant to the elephant god who is the destroyer of obstacles and represented by Om. The sounds swirled around me as I chanted a bit louder with each repetition. My thoughts shifted a bit and it was as though I was chanting this for all the people I know. Then as I continued, louder, sound vibrating off the walls of the shower, it was as though I was chanting for the world. As I lifted my arms above my head, this chant that creates space in my body and helps me tap into hope and determination became a chant to create these things for the world.

The coolness of the water moved we away from my focused singing, and I slowly quieted my voice. I picked up the soap and turned it around and around, between my pruned fingers, until the suds were thick. I soaped up my body with the intention of cleansing anything that came up during my chant. Then I let the water rinse it all away.

An unusual shower experience, but one that brought me out of my head and into a new, peaceful space.